No Journey song could ease my pain right now. Not even the smooth, soothing sounds of "When the Lights Go Down in the City."
What is the source of this pain?
The source is the fact that on two nights this week, despite my usual aversion, I ended my night at "O'Connell's" nee "Cannon's," a pseudo-Irish, blue collar death bar located about 7 blocks from the comfort zone of Nacho's. The clientele of this working man's establishment isn't made up of the steel millers or elementary school crossing guards typical of such a degenerate looking place, though. No, the clientele here is a much lower sort of person: the Columbia Jock.
The Columbia Jock is perhaps the lowest position in all of Jock culture...even lower than the "South Central Nowhere State" Jock, precisely because the nowhere Jock at least has legions of dumb coeds thinking that he's the man. At Columbia, though, telling a girl you're on the basketball team has roughly the same effect as going to Sudan and waving your Urban Studies PhD around: I'm sure you worked really hard to get there, but it isn't relavent, it isn't impressive, and it certainly isn't cool.
O'Connell's is the kind of place where you walk in and immediately notice the fact that nearly every male in the room is clearly less intelligent than the average Columbia student. I remember standing at the bar and having one of these people (Football player) ask: "HEY DUDE!!! YOU LOOKIN FOR SOME CHICKS TONIGHT?"
The interest I had in talking to this guy was less than zero, so I promptly responded: "Nah, bro...animals. They're more fun and they talk less."
He looked confused and then went back to the fat girl he was talking to.
Seriously, I don't understand how these guys can act like they're legitimate college athletes. Columbia doesn't win anything in either Football, Basketball, or Baseball...and yet these people walk around as if they're first round draft picks.
What's the best way to disarm a Columbia basketball player? Ask him how they did in the NCAA tournament.
What's the best way to disarm a Columbia football player? Ask him for the square root of the number 4.
To compound the ridiculousness of these people, each of Football, Basketball, and Baseball have their own fraternities on campus. I don't know about the Baseball fraternity, but I know that the football and basketball people charge for entry to their parties. How ridiculous is that? I'm not sure whether I should be more disgusted by the fact that they charge or the fact that people actually pay.
As a final footnote, I'm sure that most of the people on these teams are good athletes...but the team record doesn't show that. Until wins start coming in, it's ridiculous for these people to act like God's gift. If they start winning bowls or tournaments, then they can do that. Until then, they should take the backseat to the nerd in Lit Hum because he actually earned the right to study at this noble institution.
3 comments:
Alright, about the only thing I agree with in your entire pointless self indulgent rant here, is that journey rules.
Who are you to label the athetic society, or the greek society for that matter, and decide that anything they do or don't do is correct.
First of all, let's break down your night. You went to a bar known for having "Jocks" in it, and then you complain about being in their company? How dumb are you? If you don't like them, don't go around them!
Secondly, the guy who asked you if you were "lookin for any chicks tonight" was obviously attempting, though feeble mindedly, to be friendly. You're such an arrogant ass that you'd rather talk down to him then perhaps give him thirty seconds of kindness in return. Get off your pedestal and come check out the "peasents" in the cheap seats, some of us are actually pretty cool.
Finally, you complain that an organazation, albeit a fraternity, charges for admission to parties. How thick is your skull? It doesn't take a person with an IQ above about 7 to figure out that you're going to have to pay to get in to a fraternity party. It's a social organazation, they have social fundraisers. Regardless of the fact that it's as simple as "here's the kegs, pay us", its still a fundraiser. What better way to pocket a few dollars than have a party? I'm sorry we all don't sit around reading "The New Yorker" and pout about how the rest of the world is so under-cultured and hopeless.
If these people are acting like God's gift, it's because arrogant pricks like you feel the need to look down at them because their main talent happens to be athletics. Knowing you, the thought of entering into any kind of athletic atmosphere and having to do something physical rather than parade to the public how garrulous you are when it comes to the topic of other people's short comings, probably seems unthinkable.
So my final footnote is much shorter than yours, and has a much more obvious and relevant point. You're arrogant, stop getting on other people's cases, and if you don't like a certain group, no ones forcing you to be around them. Stop complaining about other people's "problems" and worry about yourself.
1. I am a recruited athlete and was a four-year letter winner in high school as well as garnering numerous local and national distinctions in my sport. It isn't the thought of athletic activity which bothers me. It's the thought of treating other people like shit just because you play a sport which I don't like.
2. I am a member of a fraternity and it will be a cold day in hell before we charge the student community money to come to one of our parties.
3. Nobody reads "The New Yorker" anymore.
4. As for the rest, fair enough.
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