Today, while I was hanging out in the common room of our fraternity house, three girls wearing orange t-shirts let themselves in. The orange t-shirts said "ABC Family - GREEK" on them. I didn't like where this was going.
They introduced themselves but I wasn't able to catch their names as I was too busy trying to hide my disgust at their affected chipperness. They then asked how I was doing and got to the chase.
Turns out there's going to be a new TV show (they insisted it wasn't "reality tv") about Greek Life on America's college campuses. What did they want from me? They wanted to know if I or anyone in my houses wanted to talk for a minute or so ON CAMERA about our "craziest college experiences." That is a direct goddamn quote.
I couldn't believe this. Now, perhaps my "crazy college experiences" have been different from the majority's, but I simply don't see a story about a random weekend for me ending up in a half hour timeslot between reruns of Sister Sister and Full House. Something tells me that videos of my buddies and I pounding shots of Jagermeister and bringing shame to our familes wouldn't fare well on a channel which is dedicated to the non-threatening programming of the mid-90s.
I told them "No, we are not interested in something like that." They didn't believe me.
They said "Oh, but you can win a walk on part in a tv show." Great. I can play "Guy in Starbucks" on the next episode of Roswell or something.
Then they offered these things which are basically Solo Cups which hang on your door.
Consider that for a moment. ABC Family is handing out Solo Cup paraphenalia. Chocolate Milk Beirut, anyone?
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